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Influence and influencing skills

A characteristic of many good leaders is that they have a high level of influencing skills.  For most of us in all aspects of our lives, influencing skills will help in our relationships, both in and out of work.  Yet, for many people when they struggle with relationships their only strategy is to keep doing what they are familiar with and have developed as habitual behaviours.  The trouble is:

"if you do what you have always done, you will get the responses you have always got."

We do not have one specific model or approach to influence or influencing skills.  We adapt to suit specific needs - for the organisation, the individuals and the situations where they want to have better influencing skills.  We can develop and run workshops of an appropriate length or deal with the development through 1:1 sessions.  We use a variety of tools to raise self-awareness, and then develop influencing skills through introducing elements of NLP, TA (Transactional Analysis), Gestalt, Power & Influence, and [or] Emotional Intelligence as appropriate. For samples look at the downloads section.

To find out more about what we can do to help you tackle issue with influencing skills, use the form below or e-mail us.

So what can you do to develop your influencing skills?

Improving your influencing skills requires these characteristics;
  • Developing flexibility of style appropriate to the situation and people
  • Being able to put yourself into other people's shoes and see things form their perspective
  • Having different ways of thinking through difficult situations when the "tried and tested" is not getting the results you need
  • Establishing ways of maintaining a position which is based on you and others getting a win/win i.e. everyone achieves some of what they want or need.
  • Being able to adjust and "think on your feet" to suit changing circumstances
  • Aligning all the elements of your approach so you are consistent and clear with others
  • Simplifying and using more precise and appropriate language

So what can you do right now to be more influential? Here are our ten top tips....

  1. Seek rapport as soon as possible by really listening to others. Express yourself clearly. Simplify what you have to say. Most people cloak the important messages in a wordy ball of cotton wool

  2. Ensure your non-verbal messages support what you want to say

  3. Pick up on the language which others use. It will give you a clue to what you can say that will appeal to them and how to say it

  4. Always have your goals for any meeting at the forefront of your thinking. Keep reminding yourself what you and others want as outcomes. If you get bored or things are not working - ask yourself, "what can I do to change things?"

  5. "Understand others first then be understood"

  6. Whatever you do, do it with empathy

  7. Seek positive outcomes and be creative in reaching solutions

  8. Be open to different ways of thinking about situations and issues. Value the diversity of others you have around you. Use their difference to add to what you can create or resolve

  9. Plan your approach and tactical influence [i.e. what you will say and do],  for any important influencing situation

  10. When others are falling asleep as you speak or you hear your voice tailing off or dropping into a monotone, it's time to shut up!
Improving influencing skills is as much about personal development as it is about acquiring new skills.  Changing mindset, building confidence and developing greater behavioural flexibility will mean that people are more likely to achieve success.  We can then provide ongoing support and challenge as each situation evolves and the new found influencing skills need adjustment

Our approach is to develop the whole person. We work on their approach, their thinking and attitudes, their skills, the behaviours and the process they use. Only by integrating these elements will they be able to deal more effectively with the "difficult people" and situations.

coaching development

Where there is a group requirement for better influencing skills we have found it is  useful for managers to attend an intensive workshop, such as Influence & ImpactTM.  This provides an opportunity to learn with others, gain critical feedback and have the time to practice and consolidate new skills.  The influencing skills model we use combines flexibility of style with a fresh approach to tackling difficult situations.

Contact Us

Please contact us, using the form below, if you want to find out more about how we can work with you to help with developing or improving influencing skills.